Friday, February 08, 2008

Crud Test

I had my blood taken today, and for anyone who knows me, that is the scariest thing on Earth. It was as crappy and humiliating as I anticipated. I don’t know what the fear is, so don’t give me any annoying advice about not looking. In fact, if anyone else says that to me (“Just don’t look.”), I might have to kick them in the knees. This is a PHOBIA, people, and all of you have at least one. I can do a lot of things that other people are terrified of, but the blood test is my weakness. I even saw a hypnotist about it. He made me go to a safe place, blah blah. The thing about that is that I have to focus and think and focus and think, and who can do that when they’re terrified out of their mind? I was hoping that he would just magically implant some subliminal thing in my brain that would take away my fear, but no such luck. The only thing that has gotten better is that I am slightly more able to avoid the fear of anticipation, meaning I actually slept not too terribly last night and I was even able to forget about it for periods of time over the past week. And I wasn’t too bad in the waiting room. But once they called my name and I went into the back, I lost it. I have no control. I equate it to being a werewolf, where I change into another, crazy person. I cry, I can’t breathe, and I can’t get it together. And that’s why I hate it so much. It’s so embarrassing and humiliating. And then afterward I had to keep sitting down because I thought I was going to puke. Thoroughly an experience I don’t want to relive, and yet, I am doomed to relive it. Pathetic.

So, to make me feel a little better: Does anyone else have any phobias they’d like to share?

3 comments:

Kaleb said...

Same thing with needles. They terrify me. I'm 19 and I'm still terrified. Luckily, I've gotten past screaming and hiding in the corner in recent years.

AnnaV said...

I've never had a problem with needles or getting blood drawn. When I was little I was the only kid getting my shots who wasnt crying. I think it was because i knew there was a lollipop involved afterwards.

I am, however, terrified of bodies of water at night. It's all black and... nothingness. Freaks me out. I can't even look at them when I drive past. Gives me shudders just thinking about...

AnnaV said...

*gives me shudders? I mean makes me shudder, or gives me chills. not those two combined.