Friday, January 21, 2011

Football Blows

I really don't care about football.  At all.  Some sports are semi interesting for me to watch, and certainly going to a baseball game once every ten years is pleasant and food-filled.  But football will never have that hold on me.  First off, it is a slow sport.  They move like ten feet each play.  Secondly, it scares the crap out of me how much alcohol plays a part in its viewing.  I realize this is also true of baseball, but those games are shorter and more interesting, and they don't involve violence.  Football is all about the violence.  I remember, as a Women's Studies major, that there was some statistic about battered wives and how the numbers increased exponentially on Super Bowl Sunday.  Because their husbands' team didn't win.  A game that they themselves weren't even playing caused them to beat up their wives.  So, yeah, I can't get behind that.  I know people whose husbands pay a buttload of money for special cable so they can watch every single game.  When I hear that, I think, did you really choose to spend the rest of your life with the most boring human being on Earth?  Nothing you say to me will change the way I look at football.  And don't you dare say anything about it having to do with my gender.  I have close female friends who follow the game, and I have not once dated a guy who was into football.  There are other things out there to consume people's lives-- MEN'S lives-- besides sports, including music, art, and me (ha!).  I will be so happy when this Sunday is over, and the Bears have beaten the Packers and we can all go back to normal.  You know what sucks the worst?  Soldier Field is right next to all of the great Chicago museums, and Sunday is also the last day of the Henson exhibit at the Museum of Science and Industry.  We really wanted to take Romy one last time before it closes.  But there is no way I'm driving anywhere near those hopped up fans when they leave the game.  I am pretty certain Jim Henson wasn't into football either.

6 comments:

Brian James said...

Sorry, I LOVE football. It's a live-action chess match. There is so much strategy involved in the game. It's the perfect combination of planning, execution and luck.

"Fly, Eagles, Fly...on the road to victory!"

Julie H said...

Well, Brian, we were bound to disagree on SOMETHING.

A fan said...

I have to thank you for this post. It reminded me of one of the funniest comedy clips I've ever watched. George Carlin discussing the difference between baseball and football. It's on Youtube. If you haven't ever seen it, PLEASE, take a few minutes to watch it. Amazingly accurate and so very funny. I believe he even mentions Soldier Field.
I watched the clip after I read your blog, thanks!

carey said...

all the more reason for me to be glad that i made it to the henson exhibit last week!

Julie H said...

A fan-- that video had too much sports lingo for me! I zoned out. Was that a pun? What did you think of the exhibit, Carey?

carey said...

i liked the exhibit but wished there had been *more* of it, which is a comment on both the low information density in museum exhibits these days and my own annoyingly high level of muppet nerdiness. i did tear up a number of times, though. hope you made it and enjoyed it!