Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Proust Questionnaire Thursday! Today's Special Guest: Andrew Smith

Andrew Smith is a fellow Feiwel and Friends family member. He writes a book pretty much every time he poops (um, I guess that would mean he poops kind of infrequently, but I mean he writes A LOT). His first novel, Ghost Medicine, was named a BBYA of 2009, and his second novel, the intense in the path of falling objects, arrives in bookstores on 9/9/09. He also likes to discuss boys and books. A LOT. My daughter warmed up to him immediately, so he is most definitely a decent guy. Look for a million other novels by him in the next year or two. And check out his website and blog at

The following questions are based on James Lipton's questions from Inside the Actors Studio, which, in turn, are based on the Proust Questionnaire. One of the questions is about swearing, so please excuse our French.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present-- Andrew Smith

1. What is your favorite word?


2. What is your least favorite word?

Scrotum. If I had my way, the word would be eradicated from every English lexicon and replaced with "ballsack."

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Travel. Going places I've never been. Especially places where I don't speak the language.

4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Apostrophe misuse.

5. What sound or noise do you love?

Letting go of the mouth on a filled balloon.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?

When the pilot of the airplane I'm on says, "Holy shit! I fucked up!"

7. What is your favorite curse word?

I can't begin to tell you just how much I love the word "douchebag" Well, "fucking douchebag," actually. But neither one of those answers is actually a word, according to my spellcheck. Spellcheck isn't a word, for that matter, either. Douchebag spellcheck.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

The guy who runs the body scanner machine at the airport.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Undersea welder.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

You again? I'm going to give you one more try to get it right.

PS -- If anyone else picked "douchebag" for #7, then I'll be pissed. It is MY favorite word.

Next Thursday's author: Yvonne Prinz!


Anonymous said...

I'm enjoying the swearwords. And the rest of the answers. Great to read this -- and a good combo of interviewer, interviewee. --- Liz S.

Andrew Smith said...

That first comment is obviously an imposter.

Thanks for inviting me, Julie. I couldn't read yesterday because I got this eye infection and couldn't wear contacts and then I couldn't find my glasses, so everything was a blur and I think I sent a bunch of irate and incoherent emails to a whole lot of "the wrong" people, but no wonder I got a phone call from a friend who said, "You right a book every time you WHAT?"

Andrew Smith said...

This is Julie, right? (I still can't read)

Karen Romano Young said...

Hi Julie, Hi Andrew -- I am happy to read about your swearwords and sugar addictions (Julie), because I am a fan of both. But you knew I would disagree about something, Andrew. I know some undersea welders and they have really cool jobs! -- Wren

Andrew Smith said...

See? This is my point, exactly, about the enormity of the hemispheric bridge in the female brain and how it leads to all this reading-between-the-lines-subconscious-intracranial-dialogue...

The question was what kind of job would I NOT like to do... I was making no qualitative judgment as to the incalculable degree of "bitchin'" the vocation of undersea welding may attain. I was only saying I wouldn't like to do it.

I totally freak out when my hair gets wet.