Thursday, December 16, 2010

I am an Author

It took me writing four novels to realize that, indeed, I am a writer.  Or an author.  Is there a difference?  Whatever, I am both.  For a long time, with Get Well Soon and Into the Wild Nerd Yonder, I felt like sort of a sham.  Not like I couldn't write or that my books weren't good because I don't believe either.  I think my books are very funny, and if not great literature at least well-written, with excellent characterization and dialog (ha!  I just critiqued myself!).  But I still didn't feel like a writer.  Then I finished my third novel, the forthcoming Don't Stop Now.  Actually, I still wasn't feeling all that writerly.  But about the time revisions came around, and my editor and I needed less than a handful of revision passes between us, I got the sense that I was doing okay.  I read blogs of other writers- HUGE ones (not necessarily in size, of course, although some may be.  I don't know what all authors look like in person)- talking about their revision process and things they struggled with-- things I didn't.  And I though, huh, maybe I am a writer!  With the sequel of Get Well Soon in the hands of my editor, and with much confidence from me (although the self-loathing and terror will most definitely come later), I feel like this is it.  I have found my calling.  I used to think the only job I was meant to do was that of a librarian.  I already knew I was damn good at that.  But I'm very happy to find another career, calling, that suits me.

I have no idea why I just wrote some absurd mission statement/daily affirmation blog post.  That's not what I sat down to write at all.  Perhaps I just needed to tell myself this, as I'm in between books and buying shoes obsessively online, wondering whether or not I'll wake my daughter up by playing my Deathly Hallows computer game upstairs, and thinking I'll wait until after the holidays to get back to writing books.  Other writers have these problems, too, right?


Natalie Whipple said...

Yes, you ARE an author, and I'm VERY happy about that.

Brian James said...

sometimes we need to write these affirmations :)