The Sunday paper has been lacking in hilarious clothing options as of late, but today's is chock full of weird, shall we say, private items. I love the idea of buying undies from a newspaper.
This first ad is ridiculous in its claims: "The body of your dreams!- or your money back!" How do they even prove that? How can they uphold such a claim? What if the body of my dreams is Hulk Hogan's body? Can the slimming vest grant that wish? And talk about false advertising: the woman in the ad already had a fancy body, as anyone could detect by the size of her arms. But I do love that this is "The Slimming Secret of French Women!" So that's why French women always look so slim! I do love the word "slim." And "vest." Therefore, this item has the perfect title of "4-in-1 Slimming Vest."
The next ad, while filled with antiquated-looking bras, is also a little tantalizing, no? Check out the select pictures where hands are clasping- or are they unclasping?- the hooks. Not much else to really say about this ad, but again I find it interesting that you can buy bras from a newspaper.
No, a wig is not an undergarment (although how hilarious would it be to wear a wig in your underwear? Wait, that actually exists, doesn't it? For... purposes.), but I like the look of these ladies. Those are some very tall, round wigs. I wonder when these pictures were taken. Based on the earrings in style #724 (I'm a little saddened that they didn't name these wigs, like "The Marsha" or "The Carol"), I'm thinking 1989. I also think the size choices are pretty funny: Petite, Average, and Large. They could have thought of a funnier name for a large head, like, "Grande" or "Noggin." Did I ever tell you my grandma sold wigs? At a place called "The Wigwam?" Good times.
Our final ad is neither bra nor wig, but it is obviously trying to sell us something boob-like. "Huge Blooms" indeed! I love the size comparisons: dinner plates and a basketball. Neither strike me as being very beautiful, but I guess that's not the point of these flowers. No, these flowers are just plain HUGE and HARDY. Pervs.
If you're looking for more Sunday reading, I suggest heading over the The Bucket List blog for an interview with Little Ol' Me. I promise it will be HUGE and HARDY and at a low low price!
This first ad is ridiculous in its claims: "The body of your dreams!- or your money back!" How do they even prove that? How can they uphold such a claim? What if the body of my dreams is Hulk Hogan's body? Can the slimming vest grant that wish? And talk about false advertising: the woman in the ad already had a fancy body, as anyone could detect by the size of her arms. But I do love that this is "The Slimming Secret of French Women!" So that's why French women always look so slim! I do love the word "slim." And "vest." Therefore, this item has the perfect title of "4-in-1 Slimming Vest."
The next ad, while filled with antiquated-looking bras, is also a little tantalizing, no? Check out the select pictures where hands are clasping- or are they unclasping?- the hooks. Not much else to really say about this ad, but again I find it interesting that you can buy bras from a newspaper.
No, a wig is not an undergarment (although how hilarious would it be to wear a wig in your underwear? Wait, that actually exists, doesn't it? For... purposes.), but I like the look of these ladies. Those are some very tall, round wigs. I wonder when these pictures were taken. Based on the earrings in style #724 (I'm a little saddened that they didn't name these wigs, like "The Marsha" or "The Carol"), I'm thinking 1989. I also think the size choices are pretty funny: Petite, Average, and Large. They could have thought of a funnier name for a large head, like, "Grande" or "Noggin." Did I ever tell you my grandma sold wigs? At a place called "The Wigwam?" Good times.
Our final ad is neither bra nor wig, but it is obviously trying to sell us something boob-like. "Huge Blooms" indeed! I love the size comparisons: dinner plates and a basketball. Neither strike me as being very beautiful, but I guess that's not the point of these flowers. No, these flowers are just plain HUGE and HARDY. Pervs.
If you're looking for more Sunday reading, I suggest heading over the The Bucket List blog for an interview with Little Ol' Me. I promise it will be HUGE and HARDY and at a low low price!
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2 comments:
Wig ads area always the best. I also miss that they used to name them things like The Nancy. Some day I just want to put on a sensible pant suit, some beige pumps and the Nancy wig and just paint the town red...or perhaps off white.
Right on! The Nancy! And using the words "beige" and "pumps" in the same sentence? Genius.
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