Saturday, January 07, 2012

Sunday Funnies: The Undergarment Edition

The Sunday paper has been lacking in hilarious clothing options as of late, but today's is chock full of weird, shall we say, private items. I love the idea of buying undies from a newspaper.

This first ad is ridiculous in its claims: "The body of your dreams!- or your money back!" How do they even prove that? How can they uphold such a claim? What if the body of my dreams is Hulk Hogan's body? Can the slimming vest grant that wish? And talk about false advertising: the woman in the ad already had a fancy body, as anyone could detect by the size of her arms. But I do love that this is "The Slimming Secret of French Women!" So that's why French women always look so slim! I do love the word "slim." And "vest." Therefore, this item has the perfect title of "4-in-1 Slimming Vest."

The next ad, while filled with antiquated-looking bras, is also a little tantalizing, no? Check out the select pictures where hands are clasping- or are they unclasping?- the hooks. Not much else to really say about this ad, but again I find it interesting that you can buy bras from a newspaper.

No, a wig is not an undergarment (although how hilarious would it be to wear a wig in your underwear? Wait, that actually exists, doesn't it? For... purposes.), but I like the look of these ladies. Those are some very tall, round wigs. I wonder when these pictures were taken. Based on the earrings in style #724 (I'm a little saddened that they didn't name these wigs, like "The Marsha" or "The Carol"), I'm thinking 1989. I also think the size choices are pretty funny: Petite, Average, and Large. They could have thought of a funnier name for a large head, like, "Grande" or "Noggin." Did I ever tell you my grandma sold wigs? At a place called "The Wigwam?" Good times.

Our final ad is neither bra nor wig, but it is obviously trying to sell us something boob-like. "Huge Blooms" indeed! I love the size comparisons: dinner plates and a basketball. Neither strike me as being very beautiful, but I guess that's not the point of these flowers. No, these flowers are just plain HUGE and HARDY. Pervs.

If you're looking for more Sunday reading, I suggest heading over the The Bucket List blog for an interview with Little Ol' Me. I promise it will be HUGE and HARDY and at a low low price!


The Erratic Blogger said...

Wig ads area always the best. I also miss that they used to name them things like The Nancy. Some day I just want to put on a sensible pant suit, some beige pumps and the Nancy wig and just paint the town red...or perhaps off white.

Julie H said...

Right on! The Nancy! And using the words "beige" and "pumps" in the same sentence? Genius.