I am having a hard time. I don't know if it's due to events that are going on today (sorry, I will not talk about what those events are, so I shouldn't even have brought it up. But it's a slight context for this post, anyway), or if it's due to lack of sleep (both natural and baby related), or if it's my joyous chemical makeup that has caused me so much beef in the past. I am in a funk. It's like I'm excited about things (including my amazing daughter), but I feel like I should be more excited. I'm stoked about ALA, but now I am feeling pressure to befriend all sorts of other authors and bloggers in an effort to "fit in." I think that's what I'm doing. I like knowing and meeting people, but part of me just feels like a poseur. That, yes, I am an author and, yes, I am a blogger, but am I really legit enough to hang with others of that persuasion? The only people at ALA I feel truly cozy with are my fellow librarians, probably because a) I've been doing that for over ten years, b) I've been on ALA committees and won ALA awards and have already been to numerous conferences, so, yeah, I'm legit, and c) I'm a really good librarian (this is something I know in my gut). Why am I telling you this? Dunno. How about I lighten the mood with a hilarious book cover from my recently weeded NF collection?
Um, maybe not so hilarious? Don't get me wrong. I'm not making fun of suicide, of course (I totally feel like I need to back that up, even with all of my own depression history), but this book cover is funny. The book was published around the time of my own hospitalization as a teen, and I can't imagine looking to this book for guidance. All I can think of is the photo shoot, and the photographers saying things like, "Look sadder! No! Sadder! Touch the pills! Touch them. And be sure to show off those fabulous leopard print leggings!" Is this in poor taste? I sure hope not. I don't need another thing to feel depressed about.