Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Ruh Roh

Something funny happened at work yesterday. A student, who is an admirer of reading and writing, said she found my website one night when she couldn’t sleep. She read my blog and saw that I called another student “obnoxious,” and she tried to guess who it was. Now, I had a total right to call this student obnoxious for giving away the death on my favorite TV show. I don’t feel bad about that. I did, however, have a little panic in my stomach about what else I have said on my blog. Hmmm. It’s stupid to think that no one from my day job would possibly be interested in my other life, and I know at least one person that has had an actual boss confrontation about her blog. But, do I need to worry? Is this another thing in life I have to worry about? I am full of worry lately, as well as boredom. I want an exciting (good) thing to happen. Like an email from out of the blue. Or a really early review of GET WELL SOON. GWS is actually providing a lot of my anxiety. Over the past two days I have read a million book reviews for a book order I placed at work. While I read the reviews, I kept thinking about my upcoming novel and what its reviews will look like. It seems like the publishing business is like any other reviewing business, where one influential person says something good and everyone agrees. That’s what it looked like from my review reading. The weird thing was when three review sources gave starred reviews to a book I thought was really bad and completely inappropriate for its age group. What if reviewers all decide that my book sucks? I know it doesn’t, but what if it does to the review world? Or the book award world? I can’t stand the waiting! And I have to wait for another eight months! I have way too much time right now to think about stressful things. I’m trying to start writing a second novel, and I’m having a lot of trouble. So that’s not making me feel any better about the book career. Is this boring? Does it matter? Does a blog have to be great literature? Please don’t give me a negative review on this blog entry.

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