Taxing

My plan was to blog every day this week. I don't know why. Just to try something I haven't tried in a while. And here I am blogging. But it won't be good. Instead of the time I thought I would use to blog about speech writing (since I have to write an acceptaqnce speech for the South Carolina Association of School Librarians Young Adult Book Award that my novel, Into the Wild Nerd Yonder, will be receiving next week. Or am I receiving the award? Mwah.), timely coming after the Oscars (mwah?), I had to start work on our taxes. Being self-employed, or a business, or whatever it is we are takes a whole lot of extra, tax-y work. And then we have to take all of the tax-y work I have done to an accountant and pay more money to have more tax-y things done with the numbers. (SEE. I told you this post wouldn't be good.)

And I still haven't finished writing my speech. Maybe if I mention taxes and say something about watching Supernatural while on the treadmill, I will win over the crowd. Win them over with SLEEP INDUCTION. Come to think of it, I wish someone would win me over with sleep induction. The more I say that, the more it makes absolutely no sense. Oh, this speech has potential FAIL written all over it. At least I have a cute dress to wear.

Geez. This post reads like I haven't talked to more than a four year-old and some Sims in months.

Bra-Tastic!

 There is no way in hell that this bra is as bra-tastic as they claim. Wait. What exactly does it mean to be bra-tastic? I don't think I would like to be called "bra-tastic." And what bra isn't bra-tastic? If I had all the money in the world to spend on really cheap bras advertised in Sunday newspapers, I would have to buy one of these and test it out. There is no way those cups could do what they claim. I don't know how well the picture comes through (you can click on it to see a larger version), but my favorite part of the ad may be what the Bra-Tastic claims regular bras do to your boobs, particuarly the first picture of the majorly lopsided boobs. What bra does that? And, if it did, just flop 'em around until they align.

If the promise of being bra-tastic weren't enough, you receive a free gift with every order! I can only imagine what it may be, but I'm thinking it's something with a clever name like, "Nip-Tastic." Just a guess.

B-I-N-G-O

Last night I went for my first time to a bingo game at an American Legion hall. I have always wanted to go, as I am somewhat of a board game fiend. Sadly, no one else in my house is (as of yet). Maybe I will share my odd collection of games on the blog, including WAY too many versions of Clue. (I also own several versions of "Clue: The Movie", including the VHS, DVD, and Blu-Ray.) Thankfully, my friend Emily seemed as enthusiastic as me about going to a bingo game, so we met on a snowy evening and tried our luck.

At first, I was on edge. My heart was beating SO HARD. I feared missing a number, or thinking I had bingo and then not having the right numbers. People were hardcore! I had no idea there were so many products made specifically for bingo players. Like the bingo chips surrounded by a little metal circle that you can then use a wand to easily clear your board after you lose!

And look at all of these cute daubers [sometimes called "dabber"]options:

I brought my daughter's Do-a-Dot thingies, and they worked perfectly. I felt so clever, but not as clever as the people who brought seat cushions! And I had no idea about the culture of bingo and good luck trolls. Maybe that's why Emily and I didn't win a single game. Big bucks were at stake, too. The final game, a coverall, was worth $500!

As the evening wore on, I realized I probably wouldn't win against a person with a table full of cards versus my measly six. And even though we didn't end up winning a cent, I will totally go again. Not every single week, as some people do. Although, I must say, their 75 cent popcorn and snacks are already calling to me. I wonder what Emily's doing next Wednesday night...