Proust Questionnaire Thursday! Today's Special Guest: Josh Berk

Josh Berk is the author of the upcoming novel, The Dark Days of Hamburger Halpin. That's how we met, actually, cause I was all like, that's really close to my name! And he was all, are you a fat, deaf guy? And I was all, say what? Then he interviewed me. He is also the star of the hit sitcom "Berkin' It Up." His book does not come out until February 9, but until then you can enjoy his Berkness at joshberkbooks.com.

The following questions are based on James Lipton's questions from Inside the Actors Studio, which, in turn, are based on the Proust Questionnaire. One of the questions is about swearing, so please excuse our French.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Josh Berk!

1. What is your favorite word?

My favorite word in any language is tush (also tushie, or the proper Yiddish "tuches").

2. What is your least favorite word?
Blogosphere.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

I am constantly inspired by the dada-ist sensibility that the only logical response to the hypocrisy of society is a furious burst of laughter. Also fart jokes.

4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Pretentiousness.

5. What sound or noise do you love?
I believe that the sound of an electric guitar, fuzzed out with distortion and amplified very loud, is the most beautiful sound in the world. Magical even.

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
Laugh tracks piss me off.

7. What is your favorite curse word?
I use all the regular English ones far too often, but again I have to go with the Yiddish. So many to choose from! Putz is good, but schmuck is probably my absolute favorite. All the best curse words have that angry "k" sound.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

I often think I'd like to be a doctor, until I think of the approximately 45,000 reasons why I'd be a terrible doctor (such as I don't like touching people and am afraid of blood). Being in a band was something I used to be sort of good at and I loved very much, so I'm going to go out on a wild limb and say rock star.

9. What profession would you not like to do?
Anything to do with the military. I have a moral objection to violence in most cases, but also I hate getting up early and suck at push-ups.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

Hot wings half off? Or maybe: "You did all right, son." Then God would give me a noogie and I'd punch him in the arm and we'd wrestle a bit. And then eat some wings.


Next Thursday's author: Jill S. Alexander!

Rupe Mail

Well, I have done it.I have mailed a copy of INTO THE WILD NERD YONDER to Rupert Grint. I also mailed him a paperback of GET WELL SOON (I waffled over paperback vs. hardcover and went with paperback because of the black cover and the interview with me in the back.). I also included an absurd letter that is now gone into the air and far away, so I will not have the opportunity to look back at it and kick myself for being such a dork. Will he get the books? Will he care? I forgot to mention that the whole reason I sent him my books (um, and if you need me to clarify that “him”, Rupert Grint, is the guy who plays Ron Weasley in the Harry Potter movies, than I feel very sad for you. Because Rupert is AWESOME.) is that the main character of NERD, Jessie, has pictures of Rupert on her bedroom wall. I never would have thought to send him the book, except that a Rupert Grint fansite actually highlighted NERD a while back when they heard (from Green Bean Teen Queen's blog) that the book had a couple Rupert mentions. That gave me the idea to send because, why not? I doubt he’ll even get them. I mean, the address I sent the books to is c/o Nigel Grint. Rupe’s dad, perhaps? What if he reads the books and thinks I’m a weirdo and never gives them to Rupert? Or what if he’s like, “Rupert doesn’t read! I’ll just chuck these in the bin.” Only time will tell. Or not. I did have a British friend send me a British airmail stamp so that I could give Rupert an official SASE. Whatever. I promise I will not check my mailbox every day in a psychotic manner. Not yet anyway. I mean, we have to give the books time to get to Rupe and give him time to read them, right?

Proust Questionnaire Thursday! Today's Special Guest: Kristina Springer

Kristina Springer is the adorable author of the new release, The Esspressologist. I shared a cab with her and Margarita Engle this past summer at ALA. We probed Margarita about what it was like to have a million golden awards covering her book. Kristina has a beautiful and bubbly website, kristinaspringer.com. And she has four kids! Way to go! Must be all the coffee.

The following questions are based on James Lipton's questions from Inside the Actors Studio, which, in turn, are based on the Proust Questionnaire. One of the questions is about swearing, so please excuse our French.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Kristina Springer!

1. What is your favorite word? love
2. What is your least favorite word? poop
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Quiet (because I don’t get a lot of it) and meet ups with other writers usually gets me recharged.
4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Chaos and a calendar that’s way overfilled.
5. What sound or noise do you love? My kids laughing.
6. What sound or noise do you hate? When all four kids are screaming at the same time. OMG. It’s loud.
7. What is your favorite curse word? Shit. But I don’t really curse too much. Trying to be good in front of the kids!
8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Talk show host.
9. What profession would you not like to do? Politician.
10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? The chocolate river is on your left, that giant cappuccino fountain over there never turns off, and oh, did I mention there are no calories here? :-)

Next Thursday's author: Josh Berk!

NERD Gets a Star!

I just did one of my MANY searches (this is what authors, and I'm sure most regular folk do, too. Not that authors aren't regular folk. Most of them, anyway), where I type "Into the Wild Nerd Yonder" (in quotes, Boolean style) into google. And this is what I found (under the "show options" tab, "past 24 hours") from Publisher's Weekly:

Into the Wild Nerd Yonder Julie Halpern. Feiwel and Friends, $16.99 (256p) ISBN 978-0-312-38252-0

Sophomore Jessie Sloan is having a bad year. Her two closest friends are turning punk and boy-crazed; one of them even pursues Jessie's longtime crush. To make matters worse, Jessie's beloved older brother will soon be leaving for college. Jessie feels adrift and spends her time sewing skirts and listening to audiobooks. Halpern's (Get Well Soon) story picks up pace when class nerd Dottie introduces Jessie to Dungeons and Dragons, which Jessie (to her surprise) actually enjoys, leading her to a new group of friends as well as a heartfelt, if a little clichéd, crush on a cute boy with his own nerdish tendencies. Jessie is a thoughtful, sympathetic narrator (“How is it that someone becomes a dork?... What makes some people like punk music and Denny's and other people like costumes and Dungeons and Dragons?”), and her fresh voice will reveal to readers just how independent and exceptional she is (even when Jessie can't see it herself). The relationships and dialogue ring true; readers navigating the stratified social structures of high school will relish an ending that celebrates true friendship. Ages 12–up. (Oct.)

Huzzah! (as Jessie and her nerd friends would say) That's my fourth great review for NERD, but there's some extra special goodness in the star. And I love that it's pink. A pink star! Um, I have to go teach a class now. But I just had to share. Gush!

Oh, and an extra gush for my awesome husband, Matthew Cordell, who did his first reading of his picture book, Trouble Gum, this weekend at The Book Stall in Winnetka. You did a fantastic job, honey!

Proust Questionnaire Thursday! Today's Special Guest: Carol Lynch Williams!

Carol Lynch Williams is the author of the chilling The Chosen One about a girl living in a polygamist compound. You will never look at a book mobile in the same way. Interesting fact #1: Carol's new website is about to be up and running, so look out for that. Interesting Fact #2: My book group is discussing The Chosen One today. Therefore, I proclaim today Carol Lynch Williams Day! Please do not celebrate by marrying multiple people.

The following questions are based on James Lipton's questions from Inside the Actors Studio, which, in turn, are based on the Proust Questionnaire. One of the questions is about swearing, so please excuse our French.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Carol Lynch Williams! (for some reason the formatting is a little weird from my cut and paste)

1. What is your favorite word? Hmmm. I’ve always loved the word gurgle. It just sounds nice. It’s baby-ish, don’t you think? Unless someone was gurgling out a last breath. Or gurgling up blood. Then I wouldn’t like the word as much.

2. What is your least favorite word? I’m not one much for swearing. There is one word I hate so much that I don’t want to even put initials to it. I’ll give you a hint—it’s not the Eff word.

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally? Something that touches me emotionally can make me want to write. It doesn’t matter the emotion. I might be laughing my butt off and think, hey, this would make a great scene. When I heard about a young girl whose father was trying to get her to marry her own uncle (his brother) it made me so angry I knew that I would write about that. Several years later, I started my novel The Chosen One.

4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally? When I’m feeling down about something. Then I just feel like eating something yummy or watching movies. Or both.

5. What sound or noise do you love? Babies laughing or talking.

6. What sound or noise do you hate? People (especially children) crying out in pain. That just sickens me. I can’t even think of that.

7. What is your favorite curse word? I’m not much of a curser. So maybe I would choose damnhell. For best effect, you must say this quickly. And, like, three times in a row.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Oh, this is good. I’d love to sing professionally. I think I could have been a Country singer. And I would write my own songs. One song would go like this:

Gimme what I want, bay-bee.

Gimme what I need.

Help me plant the crops outside

Help me get to the weed (FYI—to the reader—or listener, if this song goes big. I do NOT mean pot [marijuana], but weeds like those bushes that have pricklies on them and spread really fast.)

So what if I love diamonds

Mercedes, good chocolate, fine steaks.

That just means I’m a fancy girl

Who’s finally gotten a break

So gimme what I want, bay-bee

Gimme what I need

And if you’re smart (and rich and wise and funny and good looking)

I’ll let you in my ol’ heeeaaart!

BTW, I just made that song up, right on the spot. As you can see, I'm a natural.

I’d also like to be the librarian who just has to read for her job and show people terrific books. Or a dancer.

9. What profession would you not like to do? Anything math-ish. Eeew.

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates? Oh, I so believe heaven exists. So I guess I’d love to hear God say, ‘Well done, thou good and faithful servant.’ Then He would give me a big hug and say, ‘Where are all your daughters?’

Next Thursday's author: Kristina Springer!

I Accept Your Oscar and Raise You One Slimey

Below is the 9th episode of The Neverending Commute. In today's episode, I talk about how I shall dress and what I shall say when I win my Academy Award. For what, I don't know. Happy listening.

Episode 9

Proust Questionnaire Thursday! Today's Special Guest: Jay Asher!

Jay Asher is the author of the sad, suspenseful, compelling and addictive read, THIRTEEN REASONS WHY. The audiobook for this is fantastic, and the book completely lends itself to being listened to (since half of the book is a boy listening to the tapes of a deceased girl). Jay is one of the authors appearing at the NCTE conference this fall, where I will also appear (doesn't that make us sound like magicians? Or not.). Follow Jay's blog here.

The following questions are based on James Lipton's questions from Inside the Actors Studio, which, in turn, are based on the Proust Questionnaire. One of the questions is about swearing, so please excuse our French.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Jay Asher!

1. What is your favorite word?
cottage

2. What is your least favorite word?
onion

3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
kindness (especially when it's uncalled for)

4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
unnecessary rudeness (yes, sometimes it is necessary)

5. What sound or noise do you love?
my wife laughing

6. What sound or noise do you hate?
cars skidding to a stop

7. What is your favorite curse word?
fart (saying it just makes you feel better immediately)

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
I would love to write and illustrate a daily comic strip!

9. What profession would you not like to do?
accountant

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"I'll sign your book if you'll sign mine."

Next Thursday's author: Carol Lynch Williams!

The Lates

That's my new way of saying "The Latest News." You like?

Lots of stuff going on, but not lots of brain to remember it all. Matt, baby and I drove to Cleveland Friday (over six hours of driving = at least 8 hours car time with baby) to the GLIBA conference. I was there to sign books (and barely made it to my signing), and Matt was there to attend a dinner of booksellers and authors. It was a whirlwind, and we drove out the next morning. Matt and I both met some lovely booksellers that we will hopefully see again in the future at their respective bookstores. Honestly, I was so tuckered that I mostly recall how I knocked on the door of the room next door to ask if they thought they were going to be loud all night so I could change my room if they were. They, of course, said they weren't going to be loud, and then proceeded to wake me up numerous times throughout the night with their door slams. When I was able to sleep, that is. Romy slept like a, ahem, baby. On the drive home we stopped in Amish country and had a miserable time at a restaurant where I a) couldn't help notice everyone was coughing and sneezing and b) had to give Romy the baby Heimlich because she choked on an ice cube (AWFUL) and then had to deal with the fact that NO ONE asked if she was OK. I lost it completely when we finally left the restaurant, my food barely touched, at how horrid people can be. Man.

In tralala much happier news, here is another great review for INTO THE WILD NERD YONDER from Horn Book:

When her two longtime best friends show up for sophomore year all punked out, Jessie feels betrayed—not that she would’ve shaved her head, like flamboyant Bizza, but still. Turns out, the betrayal runs deeper: Bizza is after Van, Jessie’s forever crush. So where to find new pals? Fans of everything geek will adore Jessie’s induction into the world of nerds, one that includes the band geek lunch table, Dungeons & Dragons, and a genuinely fun-filled weekend in a field immersed in a medieval role-playing game. Halpern’s story may not hold surprises, but readers aren’t hoping for any; besides, Jessie’s narration is the real draw and is as witty and true-to-herself as she, conveying, among other things, her anxiety about joining the geeks (“I suddenly panic. I just helped a dork study for a math test. Wouldn’t that make me an even bigger dork?”). While Van turns out to be a big loser (he gives Bizza gonorrhea), Jessie comes out a winner, scoring the coolest nerd friends ever, entrée into the brainy, creative world of D&D, and—bonus!—a cute, super-sweet geekster guy to call her own. (Reader warning/appetite spoiler: a discussion of the glaze on a certain brand of donuts is hilarious but may result in a strong aversion to said donuts.) j.m.b.

Thank you, Horn Book! Speaking of HOOOOOOORRRNN!-- the final book in the Georgia Nicolsen series by Louise Rennison is out today. I can't wait to read it, and yet, I don't want it to end. I love the Ace Gang! No one tell me how it ends!

Proust Questionnaire Thursday! Today's Special Guest: Jill Wolfson!

Jill Wolfson is the author of several award-winning novels, including What I Call Life; Home, and Other Big, Fat Lies; and her newest book, Cold Hands, Warm Heart, the summary of which begins, "Dani was born with her heart on the wrong side of her body." How can you not want to read this book? And remember that cartoon about the boy whose organs were on the outside of his body? I wonder if he ever paid a visit to the Indiana Sand Dunes. But I digress... Visit Jill on the web at jillwolfson.com.

The following questions are based on James Lipton's questions from Inside the Actors Studio, which, in turn, are based on the Proust Questionnaire. One of the questions is about swearing, so please excuse our French.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present Jill Wolfson!

1. What is your favorite word?
Right now, it’s “absquatulate.” I love the sound of it and its whimsical origins. It dates to the American Midwest in the 1800s when people were coining lots of these funny-sounding, pseudo-Latin, high-sounding words, like skedaddle and discombobulate. Absquatulate means to depart in a hurry and probably brings together the prefix ab-, "away from," with a base of squat – to sit. Very creative. Okay, I’m going to absquatulate from this question now. On to the next!

2. What is your least favorite word?
Pustule. I have no particular aversion to medical terminology. I love psoriasis and cadaver, for example. But pustule makes me cringe.
3. What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Being in tune with the belly laugh at the center of the universe.

4. What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Anything done purely for cash or fame.

5. What sound or noise do you love? Silence.

6. What sound or noise do you hate? Too much silence. My own thoughts drive me crazy. Turn up the music!

7. What is your favorite curse word? Kish mir in tuchis. (Kiss my ass in Yiddish). I heard it my entire childhood.

8. What profession other than your own would you like to attempt? Captain of an intergalactic space craft

9. What profession would you not like to do? President of any country existing today

10. If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
"Thank goodness, you finally understood what I was trying to tell you! It took long enough."

Next Thursday's author: Jay Asher!