To the Left

I'm in an eating mood. Must be the rain. I can't seem to get myself to go to the gym more than once a week. I'm pretending I'm going to make up for it in the summer, but we'll see. I'm so tired all of the time during the school year. Whatever. My clothes fit. I still look cute. Enough. I'm not really a fan, but Lily Allen had an interesting thing about being of normal weight and the pressures. I respect her for that. As long as she doesn't go and get all buff. I hate that. It's like when famous people who once had curly hair straighten their hair (Felicity! How could you? I meant Keri Russel. Who played Felicity on the TV show Felicity. Not Felicity Huffman. BTW- I am not checking to see if any of my spellings of famous people are correct. Anyway, she's a traitor).

Did anyone watch "The Game" last night? Didn't think so. Well, it all came to a head where the stupid boyfriend slept with someone else and hid girl found out. It sucked. That he did that, not that she found out. And then they played that Beyonce song I absolutely LOVE. I don't even know what it's called. I shall look now. It's called "Irreplaceable." I know, stupid title. It's about her catching some dude cheating and then kicking him out by letting him know he IS replaceable. For some reason I LOVE this song! I saw her sing it on some international music award, and she looked beautiful, all natural and casual. I'm not really for or against most of her songs , but I think I may actually pay for a download of this one. Right now. Ooh. I just watched the video on Yahoo music, and it's really good. She looks so pretty, and at the end she is backed by an all-female band. Very cool. "To the left. To the left..."

Idol top three on tonight. Yawn.

Hair Do

I’m getting a haircut today! I absolutely love getting haircuts. I’ve been seeing the same hairdresser for ten years. Her name is Laura, and we’re about the same age. She works at a funky salon in a mall that is an hour away from my house, but it’s worth it. She started cutting my hair when it was REALLY short. Now I’m in a growing out phase. I don’t know how long I want it to get. I haven’t had it this long in a while. I will never let it get to my high school waist-length stage. I think that’s pretty boring. And the longer my hair gets, the less curly it is. On days I get my hair cut, I have her straighten it. It’s all soft and shiny. But then it starts to poke me in the eyes. And then I put it in a ponytail, but my hair is fine and so the ponytail always slips out. But when I finally wash it, it looks so cute and curly and bouncy. I love haircuts! I wish I could get an all day haircut, where she just keeps combing my hair and parting it. I also like having people put eye shadow on me. Hooray for a trip to the mall!

Smell Ya Later

I love a TV gimmick. The last time I bought a TV Guide was for the Medium 3-D episode (which was pretty scary). This week I bought one for the My Name is Earl smelly episode. I don’t even like the show, really. I do like some of the characters, particularly Joy and Crabman. But I’m not thrilled with the Jason Lee Scientology connection, nor how he looks pissed whenever he doesn’t win an award. Does he really think he’s that good? He’s not bad, but he’s really just OK in my book. And I’m sick of looking at his moustache. Does he have to have that thing for the duration of the show? Don’t get me started on Randy. He repulses me. He is so stupid and drooly. I really don’t believe that someone could be as stupid as his character. Now, am I supposed to believe he’s realistic, seeing as he’s on a sitcom and all? Probably not. But he’s such a doof, it’s not even fun to watch. For me at least. But I still bought the TV Guide. They got me. The problem was then I had to watch a super-sized episode of the show. Did anyone else have the smelly things? It was annoying. You had to “rub” the smells in order to release the scent, and then your finger stunk. It wasn’t very fun or interesting. But TV Guide got my money.

Does anyone watch Workout on Bravo? I couldn’t believe that Doug died. They built it up in a dramatic way in the previews, like something bad was going to happen, but I didn’t want to think… And then the day before the show aired I saw an ad where the announcer said the trainers were dealing with “Doug’s passing.” I wonder if they changed the ads because it wasn’t OK to build reality show drama about a real death. Sad.

And for our final TV show review, how about “Thank God You’re Here.” It’s not bad. They usually have good people on. But what is the deal with Dave Foley? He’s a long way from the Kids in the Hall. It doesn’t even look like him anymore. His forced smile while he watches the contestants hurts me. He’s probably laughing all the way to the bank.

Meanie

Ha! I’ve been waiting for a funny Spam email for a while, and here it is
Sender: Lenard chaos
Subject: my bacon
Ha! Again!

So I consumed myself with evil this weekend. One of my closest friends and I were chatting about a no-longer friend. Over the phone, we googled and searched and found some pics and info. And all I could think was bad thoughts! I won’t write any of them here, but I was being such a bitch. I was harping on the hair and the face and the general nastiness of the person (which was all true), but why? I woke up in the middle of the night feeling terrible. I really let it all get the best of me. What do I care what this person is doing or looks like now? All I should care about is the joy (or lack there of) in my life, right? So what is it that makes us revel in what we deem as another person’s failure? I hate to think I’m that kind of person. But I guess there’s no denying that there’s a small part of me that is a mean ball of poo. But it’s a small part of me, and I shall now lock it away until I really need it. Poof! There. It’s gone. Now who wants ice cream?

Spammy Davis Jr.

So I said I’d report back on some funny spam names. These aren’t as funny as “Flossy Peterson,” but some recent senders are:

Glenn Villanueva
Genevieve Kincaid
Delores Hightower (funny because of the Police Academy connection)

Who is out there creating this stuff? Is it just random computer name placement? And who would actually open an email from these people?

I would also like to start putting links to clips on You Tube in my blog. These aren’t clips I uploaded to You Tube, but ones I’ve searched for (Who are these freaks that find an old Monchichi commercial and then think to upload it to their computer? The mind boggles). I have yet to really get into the homemade You Tube stuff (there’s so much of it!), although I did watch a dorky Dungeons and Dragons “spoof” (It was actually a group of D&D players that were making fun of themselves, but it would have been funnier to just watch them play the game). I have been searching for old clips and commercials of things I have on tape somewhere myself. I was a huge videotaper as a kid/pre-teen/teen. We had HBO and basic cable, and much of my childhood was spent recording and then watching repeatedly shows off of HBO, Nickelodeon and MTV. At this point I would never find the clips I want to watch on my tapes because I recorded them in the long-playing format (six hours). Six hours and a million tapes of crap. Anywho, I will now link you to one of my favorite cartoon shorts. You may have seen or heard it. It’s called “The Cat Came Back,” and was made by a Canadian (of course) named Cordell! Pure genius.

Spammy

I have decided to start keeping track of some of my favorite Spam names and subjects (meaning: when I receive a spam email in my trash bin, I look at it and keep track of all of the funny ones). I wish I had thought of this earlier. The other day I had one with the word “puffball,” which I thought was hysterical. I am keeping a list, which I will periodically report on. If you have any funny names in your spam folder or email subjects, please let me know. Unless it’s pervy. I want to keep the blog relatively clean. For the children. So you know what to look for, my favorite spammer name of all time was Flossy Peterson.

Artsy Fartsy

It’s interesting being married to an artist and going to art shows. Matt and I have a history of getting in fights at museums. It was always this weird thing where he’d get all silent and brooding and I would wonder what he was thinking and he’d never know what he was thinking and I was bored and when were we going to eat. It’s gotten better over the years, partly because Matt is not immersed in the fine art world (illustration is a slightly different art world), but mostly because we’re married and it’s just a lot easier. This weekend we went to the Milwaukee Art Museum to see the Francis Bacon show. We did have an argument, but that had nothing to do with the show (I was mad because he couldn’t take a good picture of me for promotional purposes, and he was mad because I was being a bitch). I never know what I’m supposed to be doing at an art show. I see the paintings, but it’s rarely a profound experience for me. My favorite art experiences were in Italy, when I could see all of the myths represented in artwork and I knew the stories. I like stories. What I tend to notice most in galleries and museums are the frames. Who chose them? Why? How fancy! At the Francis Bacon show, I noticed that all of the frames were gold. Yet many of the paintings were owned by different people. Why did they all have gold frames? Did Bacon himself choose them? Did he force everyone who bought his paintings to frame them in gold? Did the museum change all of the frames for the show? Will I ever know the answer? I suppose I could ask someone at the museum. But then what would I think about the next time I visit a gallery?