Meanie

Ha! I’ve been waiting for a funny Spam email for a while, and here it is
Sender: Lenard chaos
Subject: my bacon
Ha! Again!

So I consumed myself with evil this weekend. One of my closest friends and I were chatting about a no-longer friend. Over the phone, we googled and searched and found some pics and info. And all I could think was bad thoughts! I won’t write any of them here, but I was being such a bitch. I was harping on the hair and the face and the general nastiness of the person (which was all true), but why? I woke up in the middle of the night feeling terrible. I really let it all get the best of me. What do I care what this person is doing or looks like now? All I should care about is the joy (or lack there of) in my life, right? So what is it that makes us revel in what we deem as another person’s failure? I hate to think I’m that kind of person. But I guess there’s no denying that there’s a small part of me that is a mean ball of poo. But it’s a small part of me, and I shall now lock it away until I really need it. Poof! There. It’s gone. Now who wants ice cream?

Spammy Davis Jr.

So I said I’d report back on some funny spam names. These aren’t as funny as “Flossy Peterson,” but some recent senders are:

Glenn Villanueva
Genevieve Kincaid
Delores Hightower (funny because of the Police Academy connection)

Who is out there creating this stuff? Is it just random computer name placement? And who would actually open an email from these people?

I would also like to start putting links to clips on You Tube in my blog. These aren’t clips I uploaded to You Tube, but ones I’ve searched for (Who are these freaks that find an old Monchichi commercial and then think to upload it to their computer? The mind boggles). I have yet to really get into the homemade You Tube stuff (there’s so much of it!), although I did watch a dorky Dungeons and Dragons “spoof” (It was actually a group of D&D players that were making fun of themselves, but it would have been funnier to just watch them play the game). I have been searching for old clips and commercials of things I have on tape somewhere myself. I was a huge videotaper as a kid/pre-teen/teen. We had HBO and basic cable, and much of my childhood was spent recording and then watching repeatedly shows off of HBO, Nickelodeon and MTV. At this point I would never find the clips I want to watch on my tapes because I recorded them in the long-playing format (six hours). Six hours and a million tapes of crap. Anywho, I will now link you to one of my favorite cartoon shorts. You may have seen or heard it. It’s called “The Cat Came Back,” and was made by a Canadian (of course) named Cordell! Pure genius.

Spammy

I have decided to start keeping track of some of my favorite Spam names and subjects (meaning: when I receive a spam email in my trash bin, I look at it and keep track of all of the funny ones). I wish I had thought of this earlier. The other day I had one with the word “puffball,” which I thought was hysterical. I am keeping a list, which I will periodically report on. If you have any funny names in your spam folder or email subjects, please let me know. Unless it’s pervy. I want to keep the blog relatively clean. For the children. So you know what to look for, my favorite spammer name of all time was Flossy Peterson.

Artsy Fartsy

It’s interesting being married to an artist and going to art shows. Matt and I have a history of getting in fights at museums. It was always this weird thing where he’d get all silent and brooding and I would wonder what he was thinking and he’d never know what he was thinking and I was bored and when were we going to eat. It’s gotten better over the years, partly because Matt is not immersed in the fine art world (illustration is a slightly different art world), but mostly because we’re married and it’s just a lot easier. This weekend we went to the Milwaukee Art Museum to see the Francis Bacon show. We did have an argument, but that had nothing to do with the show (I was mad because he couldn’t take a good picture of me for promotional purposes, and he was mad because I was being a bitch). I never know what I’m supposed to be doing at an art show. I see the paintings, but it’s rarely a profound experience for me. My favorite art experiences were in Italy, when I could see all of the myths represented in artwork and I knew the stories. I like stories. What I tend to notice most in galleries and museums are the frames. Who chose them? Why? How fancy! At the Francis Bacon show, I noticed that all of the frames were gold. Yet many of the paintings were owned by different people. Why did they all have gold frames? Did Bacon himself choose them? Did he force everyone who bought his paintings to frame them in gold? Did the museum change all of the frames for the show? Will I ever know the answer? I suppose I could ask someone at the museum. But then what would I think about the next time I visit a gallery?