Fan Mail

Many of you already know I'm a huge fan of Ke$ha. I have blogged about her awesomeness, most recently how I saw her in concert in Milwaukee. You may also know that Ke$ha is in treatment for an eating disorder (disgustingly encouraged by the very people making money off of her). I have blogged before about my penchant for writing letters and sending books to famous people I dig. Here's a link to a previous post about people who have not written me back. And here, right now, is a post about Ke$ha, who did.

I have been writing fan letters since at least junior high, although the first letter I really remember working hard on was to a band called Out of Order. They were the house band on a kids' talk show on Nickelodeon called, "Don't Just Sit There." I was madly in love with the bass player/lead singer, Chris Guice, so I wrote a letter (I have no idea what I said, but I'm sure it was brilliant. Or mortifying.) and my friend Tracy (yes, of Get Well Soon and Have a Nice Day fame) decorated the envelope with mosaic paper cutouts. One day, weeks later, I received my SASE back, and in it an autographed picture and a letter from Mr. Guice. I believe I cried. Here is a picture of me, taken on that very day. (I have no idea how I remember this picture is from that day. All I remember is that my friend Beth was over, and we took a bunch of pictures. Probably to commemorate the occasion.)

I must note that I am now "friends" with Chris Guice on facebook. Why, I do not know. It seemed funny at the time.

Over the years I have sent many fan letters to people. I am starting to reflect on why I, and other people, do this. I'm old enough to know that we won't become friends. Probably. But I feel writing a letter, and getting one back, would be some sort of validation, an "I exist!" acknowledgement from someone I admire. Which sounds really lame as I type this. Who cares if someone famous acknowledges our existence? (Obviously, a lot of people, since that's pretty much the whole point of twitter.) Whatever the reason, I can't help myself from still being a fangirl at age 39 (holy fuck I'm 39). With Ke$ha, it felt like a good time to write her a letter, supporting her when she's feeling a little low. As I'm sure thousands of other people are doing. In it I told her how happy her music makes me and how I think it's great how she is a proponent of being oneself. And I sent her some of my books because I know how long the hours in treatment can be (hell, one of my books is even about being in treatment!). Plus, I do happen to mention her a few times in The F-It List. Then I sent the books off, along with a SASE, and that was that. Until a letter with my handwriting arrived in the mail with a person named, "K. Damnit" in the return corner. To those who send out SASEs: are you always as confused as I am when one arrives back in the mail with your very own handwriting? It took forever for it to register that Ke$ha wrote me a letter. It turned out to be a really sweet one, and I was thrilled to get it. I didn't cry or take pictures of myself afterward, but, I will admit, I did write her another one. Because who the hell doesn't love a penpal? I come from an era of writing to people I didn't know but whose addresses I found in the back of teen music magazines because we both liked The Monkees. I had a penpal friendship that spanned junior high through college with a teenaged boy. I still write letters to my friend in Australia because it's fun to get international mail (and hella expensive). So, yeah, I wrote Ke$ha back. Of course I'm crossing my fingers and toes she'll write me back again. Because it's a damn good feeling to be acknowledged by someone I adore and admire. And I will never lose the excitement of going to my mailbox in hopes that something exciting is waiting inside. [note: by "something exciting" I do not mean the spider that lays eggs in our mailbox every year.]